How being socially awkward has helped me be a better writer

Well I was really not expecting to write this entry (but then I never really expect what I write) but the silliest thing prompted me to do so... Where I work there is a cafeteria much like a high school's cafeteria (by the way... how do people live through that horrible experience in the US though all of high school? No wonder kids start shooting each other*) and I've been eating alone there most of the time which my boss found horrible. I honestly don't mind but thought it was sweet that she would worry about me like that so, with that in mind, today I decided I was going to ask my boss if she'd like to join me for lunch. Now, for most humans this experience would go something like this.

Person 1: Oh hello Miss A? Would you like to join me for lunch today?
Person 2: Oh sure Monica, I'd love to?

But then there's me... and this is how that went.

Person 1 *looks over nervously at Miss A's desk hoping she didn't catch the stupid stare and shaking from where she is sitting... Hands shake and get cold and as Miss A turns a little Mooni's eyes advert before they can catch Miss A's. Mooni thinks to herself "come on girl you can do this... She said she'd like you to join her for lunch so what's the big deal? Well of course you probably blew it now from all the STARRING you just did. What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to be working? Why are you sitting here sweating over this... GO OVER THERE AND ASK HER IF SHE'D LIKE TO HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER!!!"*

Person 2: *types at desk*

Person 1: *thinks: "okay I can do this! I will march over there and smile and ask her if she'd like to join me for lunch!" She gets up, walks over there, almost falling down with her headphone cord wrapped around her heel in the process and stammers something like this:* Oh hi Miss A! I see you're busy but were you planning on having lunch? I mean of course you were but I meant here, at the cafeteria because since you mentionedyesterdayhowyouwereworriedIwaseatingaloneIwaswonderingifyou'dliketo... eat... with me?

Person 2: *stares* uh.. Oh sure, Monica... I'll join you when lunch time comes.

Person 1: *walks away almost wanting to cry... in shame.

Now, see the difference describing that first scenario and the second one!? I do... Because I live it every day. But it isn't just that bit (the describing) that helps me write but the fact that when I write I can actually be the person I want to be. Most of my characters are not as shy and horribly hopeless as I am and me wanting that has made me an observer. I watch people be social because I can't be... but I can watch them and later on describe it. I became a people watcher out of necessity and that is one of the most important things when writing. That you have the knowledge of how people act. You've watched them and learned bits and pieces of them and thus you create stories with them.

I may not be a confident and social person but my characters can be if they wish and I have my social awkwardness to thank for that.

M

*this is a joke... I am well aware there are other complications that prompt the killing of your fellow students.